


Knots

by My_Trex_has_fleas



Series: Land and Sea [26]
Category: Poldark - All Media Types, Return to Treasure Island (TV 1996)
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Light BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:03:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/pseuds/My_Trex_has_fleas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A hotel room and a piece of rope. What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knots

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost from Innuendo.

The black silk cord was soft against the delicate skin of his wrist, but strong enough to take any amount of straining from him. Ross regarded the knot that bound his hand to the post. He’d known he was in trouble the moment they had stepped through the door and he had seen the king size four poster bed.

************

The bed and breakfast had been Jim’s surprise, a little something to mark the fact that they had managed to keep what had effectively started as a one night stand going for as long as they had.

‘Come down to Portsmouth.’ Jim had said very casually a few days before.

‘Why?’ Ross had asked, one finger in his ear to block out the distant sound of artillery fire in the background. They were out on Salisbury Plain doing practice with the visiting Indian troops.

‘Because it’s a nice idea and I haven’t seen you in two weeks.’ Jim replied, then hesitated. ‘Are you busy blowing shit up again?’

‘Not me personally.’ Ross laughed, ‘I’m just directing.’

‘Come down, Ross. I’ll make it worth your while.’ Jim said, and then hung up. Ross stared at his mobile, undeniably intrigued by the last part of what Jim had said.

**************

So here he was now lying naked on the bed, one wrist tied to the post on his right, while Jim was carefully knotting the cord around the other one. His ankles were already similarly bound, leaving Ross completely immobile. He watched him, all focus and care, as he tested the tension and made sure that Ross’ circulation wasn’t going to be cut off. There was a lovely line running between his dark gold brows as he concentrated, and it made Ross want to run a fingertip along it, smooth it out. But, of course, he couldn’t.

Jim took the two strands of cord and looped them around the post, knotting them so they held fast.

‘All done.’ he said sitting back on his heels. He was in black briefs and a white t-shirt with a picture of Edward and Alphonse on the front. Ross hadn’t known who they were until their second month when Jim had come to Bovington for a weekend and pretty much made him sit down and binge watch the whole of Brotherhood in twenty-four hours. ‘How’s it feel?’

Ross tested the restraints, noting that they were enough to restrict his movement completely but very comfortable. He’d had a previous boyfriend who’d tied him up a couple of times, but that had been a far less pleasant experience.

‘They’re fine.’ he said, clearing his throat slightly to hide the fact that his voice was already gravelly with anticipation and arousal. That damn competency kink was back again.

‘Good.’ Jim said and got off the bed. Ross watched as he walked off to the bathroom.

‘Hey.’ he called after him, ‘Where the fuck are you going?’

‘To shower.’ Jim said as if Ross had asked him the most obvious thing in the world.

‘But what about…’ Ross trailed off and nodded down to his cock, which was raring to go. Jim gave him a dimpled smile that was pure and unadulterated evil.

‘You’ll keep.’ he said, and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Ross stared at the closed door in disbelief.

‘Motherfucker.’ he groaned, letting his head fall back on the pillow.

It was going to be a long two days.

*********

It must have been about twenty minutes before Jim came out the bathroom, naked and covered in water droplets that glistened on his skin and in his blond hair. He came over to the bed, and looked Ross up and down.

‘How’re you doing?’ he asked, his voice teasing. Ross glared at him, but the sight of his boyfriend in nothing but a smile did wonders for his erection.

‘I’m going to fucking kill you when I get out of this.’ he said evenly. Jim laughed and came to stand next to his hand, running one hand along Ross’ arm.

‘But you have to get out of it first Captain Poldark.’ He said, and ran his fingers lightly down the soft skin of Ross’ bicep making him flinch at the ticklish sensation. ‘Oh my God. Are you fucking ticklish?’

‘No.’ Ross said a little too loudly, inwardly cursing himself for letting the cat out of the bag. He tried to fix Jim with what he hoped was an authoritative look. ‘I am no such thing. Captains in Her Majesty’s Army are never ticklish.’

‘Hmm.’ Jim’s eyes were sparkling with mischief. He climbed onto the bed, still wet, and settled across Ross’ thighs. ‘This is going to bring up all sorts of interesting ideas.’ He leaned forward and very deliberately brushed his fingertips down Ross’ ribs. Ross made a strangled noise and bit his lower lip to keep from giggling like a small child.

‘You utter bastard.’ he managed to grind out. Jim laughed in delight and did it again.

‘You are so going to break.’ he said, and Ross shut his eyes and shook his head frantically, not trusting himself to open his mouth. He pretty much forced himself to lie completely still as Jim’s fingers drifted across his stomach.

‘Ross.’ Jim said. ‘Have I told you how fucking adorable you are when you’re trying not to laugh?’ Ross squirmed and said nothing. Jim sat back, and shook his head, spraying Ross with water droplets. ‘All right, you asked for it.’ Then he ghosted his fingers along Ross’ flanks.

‘You motherfucker!’ Ross choked out, as he fought to keep from laughing and lost horribly. He desperately wanted to wriggle away but was completely unable to. ‘Jesus Christ will you fucking stop!’ He was so focused on the tickling that he missed the sudden heat in Jim’s eyes. He stopped tickling Ross and leaned forward so he was resting with his hands either side of Ross’ body. Then he bent his head and licked Ross’ right nipple. It was light, barely a touch, but the sensation went straight through Ross and the laugh turned into a moan.

‘Oh fuck.’ he breathed and Jim did it again, tongue flicking lightly.

‘I’m sorry. I thought you said to stop. ’ he said then lowered his head, tongue moving in maddening circles until Ross was breathing hard. Then he kissed across to the other nipple and did the same thing. Ross’ head was spinning. He closed his eyes and focused on the delicate touch of Jim’s tongue, the soft flicking motions making each touch feel like he was being branded. Ross looked down as best he could, watching as Jim started to kiss his way down Ross’ chest and stomach, tongue tracing the line of hair that connected the thick mat of hair at his chest to the spread of it across his stomach. He got to Ross’ navel, tongue dipping in and Ross squirmed again, torn between being turned on and ticklish. Jim looked up at Ross, chin resting on Ross’ stomach, and smiled at him.

‘I think I really like you like this, Ross.’ he said. ‘You know I could do anything to you if I wanted to.’

And for some ungodly reason those words rang a bell that Ross had hoped was long buried. He saw a flash of dark eyes in his head and heard those same words. It was not a pleasant memory.

‘You’d better not.’ he said, only half-joking. He was suddenly uncomfortably aware that he really couldn’t move. It must have shown on his face because Jim sat up suddenly, his expression doubtful.

‘Hey, you okay?’ he asked. Ross looked away from his direct gaze.

‘I’m fine.’ he said, but his voice was defensive. Jim got off him.

‘Ross?’ he asked. ‘We don’t have to do this.’ It was just an idea but if you’re not into it…’

‘I’m good. Don’t stop.’ Ross said. He was terrified that Jim would stop, but he knew he sounded unhappy and Jim shook his head. His face was serious.

‘No.’ he said, going to the posts and tugging on one strand of the cord. ‘We stop now. If you don’t want it, we don’t do it.’ He gave Ross a reassuring smile, but the damage was done and Ross wanted to kick himself for what he’d done. He watched as the knot binding his wrist came undone and then Jim went round and undid the other. Ross was absolutely mortified. He felt awful and sat up to hide his embarrassment when Jim had undone his other wrist. Jim freed his ankles and then went back into the bathroom. When he came out a few minutes later he was dressed. Ross sat and stared at him, feeling a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Any arousal he may have felt was gone, and he pulled the duvet up over himself. He watched Jim warily, expecting at any minute to be told to pack up and get the fuck out.

To his surprise though Jim smiled at him, gathering up the rope and coiling it around his hand and elbow.

‘Why don’t you go have a shower.’ he said. ‘I’ll call down and get us something to eat, okay?’ Ross listened carefully to Jim’s voice, on high alert for anything that signalled that Jim was angry or displeased.

There was nothing.

Ross got up, feeling uncharacteristically shy, and almost ran into the bathroom. The shower was huge with a rainfall shower head and he took refuge in it, battling the growing feeling of dread. He knew what would be coming when he came out the bathroom. It didn’t take a genius to work out that Jim would not be happy that he had invited Ross down only for them to fall at the first hurdle.

Ross let the hot water wash over him, then leaned his head against the tiled wall of the shower. He was still so unsure of how to play this. It was one thing when he and Jim were buried in each other, barely coming up for air as they fucked their way through the short days they had spent together. But he didn't know how to navigate outside of this. Especially since he’d fucked up and told Jim that he loved him the last time, even if it had worked out well. Ross had spent the week after buoyed up on a wave of emotion he’d not felt for a very long time, and this time around he’d been filled not with trepidation but an almost crazy high. Not surprisingly it had been followed by a week of crushing insecurity. And then Jim had invited him down and he’d hoped that it would be amazing, and then Jim had brought out the ropes and Ross had felt the tiny twinge of unease in his gut, but he’d gone along with it. And then he’d fucked up again by freaking out because they were doing something not even that kinky.

Ross wasn’t sure how long he was in the shower for, but when he got out he was hesitant to go back in the room. Eventually he bit the bullet and went in. Jim was lying on the bed. The TV was on and Jim had made a pillow mountain and was settled in. He smiled at Ross and patted the bed next to him.

‘I got us some stuff from room service.’ he said. ‘And Predator’s on in five minutes. You haven’t seen that right?’ Ross shook his head, still feeling incredibly awkward although Jim was acting like they hadn’t been about to have sex not half an hour before. He went to his bag, pulling out a t shirt and briefs and getting dressed as quickly as possible. Jim wasn’t paying attention to him though. Ross went and hung the towel over the rail in the bathroom, then went back into the bedroom. He walked over to the bed and got on. Jim raised one arm and Ross was at a loss until Jim looked at him expectantly. Then he leaned against Jim and Jim shifted so he could have one arm around Ross. Ross waited for a minute then gave in, leaning into Jim and settling in down next to him on the pillow mountain.

‘You’re going to fucking love this.’ he said and kissed the top of Ross’ head.

*************

They had spent the rest of the weekend lying on the bed and watching old films from the eighties and eating room service food. They had taken long baths in the oversized tub and rubbed each other’s backs and talked, talked endlessly about everything. And not once did Jim bring up Ross’ little meltdown, so by the end of the weekend Ross had forgotten it. And when Ross dropped Jim back at the base on the Sunday evening, he was surprised to note that they hadn’t had sex once the whole weekend.

That was the beginning of the end for Ross. He knew that now. If the time before in Tyneham had jolted him into proclaiming his love for Jim, that weekend cemented it. He’d never experienced anything like it. And while he knew that he hadn’t had the healthiest attitude to sex and what had passed for relationships in his life, it had been his experience that it was what he was good at, what people wanted him for. He had a pretty face and an attractive body, he was good in bed and could deliver every time. That had been what he judged himself on, knowing that his looks and his sexual prowess could attract and keep a partner as long as he needed them, until he was ready to decide to let them go. It was also one of the reasons he had also kept sex was as anonymous in its execution as he could make it. With a man on his knees in front of him, Ross didn’t need to look at him, acknowledge that he were a person in his own right.

It had been so different with Jim, right from that very first night when Ross had found himself looking into those beautiful eyes, turned silver in the half light of the hotel room. And Jim had continued to surprise him, making Ross’ heart respond in ways he’d never ever experienced before. He was amazed at the layers he uncovered, and wasn’t sure if it was because Jim was an impossibly complex person or if it was because he’d never bothered to get to know any of his previous conquests.

Now he knew it was both of these things.

It had never been like that before. Of his two serious relationships, Ross had always allowed the other person to call the shots. With Elizabeth that had been because she just seemed to know what to do whereas he was just following her lead. With Howard it had been about him being the one who controlled everything, and Ross being so in thrall to him he’d never questioned it.

Jim was the first person who’d treated him like an equal, and had allowed Ross to accept that he was just as invested in their relationship. There had never been a question that Jim would give him up at the first time of trouble or punish him for not performing by becoming distant or uncommunicative, like Howard had used to do until Ross would simply acquiesce out of a drive to win his approval. Jim never demanded or threatened or guilted him into anything he didn’t want, be it sex or simply choosing which film they were going to see.

And it had been that treatment, that ability to make Ross feel like he was valued and important and completely and utterly equal, that had set Ross on the road to love.

********

‘No, you’re doing it wrong.’ There was laughter in the voice. ‘Remember the rabbit comes out the hole, goes around the tree and goes back in the hole.’ Ross huffed in annoyance and looked at Jim. Jim’s blue-green eyes were dancing. He was watching Ross and the smile on his face told Ross that he was having the time of his life.

He wasn’t sure whose idea it had been, but they were back in the hotel and also back in the room. The colour scheme was different but the four poster bed was the same. Only this time, Ross was the one doing the tying. Or at least trying to. He huffed and blew his hair out of his eyes.

‘Fuck.’ he said, then undid the rope and started again. Jim watched him, grinning. Ross concentrated, but as he pulled the rope tight, it came loose and he ended up with both ends in his hands. ‘Bollocks.’

‘Do you want me to do it?’ Jim asked, and Ross snorted.

‘No.’ he said. ‘I can do it.’ He shifted on the bed and Jim moved to make room for him.

‘You know it would go faster if I just did it myself.’ he said and Ross glared at him.

‘Shut the fuck up or all you get is to watch me jerk off.’ he retorted. ‘See how you like being tortured for a change.’ Jim had done that to him a couple of weeks before when he’d contravened the rules. He’d just pulled that damn armchair in front of Ross as he hung from the ceiling, and sat in it with his legs spread and hanging over the arms. Then he’d proceeded to put on a show for Ross. Ross was sure that he still hadn’t recovered. The worst part was that then Jim hadn’t let him come at all.

Jim’s smirk told him he knew exactly what Ross was referring to.

‘You broke the rules.’ he said. ‘You know what happens when you break the rules.’ He rolled onto his side and regarded Ross’ battle with the knot. ‘Come on, I think you need to call time on that.’ He reached for the rope with his other hand and Ross slapped it away.

‘Bugger off.’ he said. ‘I will get this right.’ Jim laughed and rolled back onto his back, stuck his other hand behind his head and closed his eyes.

‘Wake me when you’re finally done.’ he said.

‘Ha fucking ha.’ Ross muttered. Ten minutes later he gave up in disgust. ‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’ He unwrapped the rope from Jim’s wrist and flounced back on the bed with his arms folded. Jim snorted with laughter, his eyes still closed.

‘You done?’ he asked and Ross chucked the rope at him.

‘I don’t know how the fuck you do this.’ he said. Jim opened his eyes and sat up. He picked up the rope and looped it in his hands. Ross watched, fascinated. The one thing that did irk him was that he couldn’t ever see the intricate knots he could feel Jim crafting along his back. Jim’s hands were sure and quick and in no time he’d made a pair of manacles and held them out to Ross. Conditioned to respond to the ropes, Ross obediently stuck his hands through them.

‘You have to be patient.’ Jim said. He was now in a cross legged position in front of Ross and Ross moved so he was kneeling opposite him. Jim’s hands were busy and Ross tried to follow what he was doing. ‘Watch what I’m doing.’ He knotted the two strands and then drew them around Ross’ thighs, pulling them back and knotting them again. Ross looked on, not really taking much else in. Jim wound the ropes around his thighs once more then back around his arms again. From there he worked up, until there was a series of loops and knots running up between his arms. Ross looked at Jim questioningly. Jim smiled, one eyebrow raised.

‘You know there's something we haven't done yet.’ he said.

‘What?’ Ross asked, a little suspicious. Their eyes locked.

‘Do you trust me?’ Jim asked, suddenly all seriousness and Ross’ stomach gave a pleasant lurch.

‘Always.’ he replied, just as serious. Jim pushed him gently so he was on his back. The positioning of the ropes meant that his feet were flat on the bed and his thighs were held apart.

‘There was something you wanted to try.’ he said. Ross frowned at him.

‘There was?’ he asked. Then Jim moved so he was sitting between Ross’ legs. Ross caught the look on his face and suddenly realised the position he was in. He narrowed his eyes at Jim. ‘You sneaky fucker.’ Jim smiled, dimples flashing.

‘There was.’ he said. ‘Something we haven’t tried yet but I’ve been thinking about it.’ He ran his hands down Ross’ thighs and Ross felt the first surges of arousal starting low in his belly. ‘Can you guess what it is?’ He watched Ross expectantly. Ross racked his brain, mentally going through the list. Their experiences in play had covered a great many things by now. They had skirted around the edges of their comfort zone a few times and always come back to the things that they enjoyed, the shibari, the silent play, the toys they liked. Then it hit him and Ross’ eyes went wide.

‘Oh.’ he said. The surge of arousal became a tidal wave. ‘Oh fuck…’

‘Only if you want to.’ Jim’s hands were soothing, the stroking soft and almost hypnotic. ‘But if you’re up for it then we need to make plans.’ Ross smiled. That was Jim all over. Every step of their scene play was carefully mapped out and choreographed.

‘When?’ he asked, mind racing. A tiny part of him wished that it was now. Jim, as usual, seemed to read his mind.

‘No.’ he said. ‘Not today. We need to get you in the right place first, mentally and physically.’ His thumbs were drawing soft circles on the insides of Ross’ thighs, close to the crease between leg and torso. It was one of Ross’ hotspots and he caught his breath, arching slightly into the touch and starting to get hard.

‘We can do it soon though, right?’ he breathed, and Jim smiled.

‘You’re always so impatient.’ he said. ‘Maybe at Christmas time.’

‘Jesus Christ.’ Ross muttered. ‘That’s like two months away.’

‘Exactly.’ Jim got onto his knees, and reached for the lube and hand towel on the side table. ‘We can’t just go from what we’ve been doing to me sticking my hand up there.’ He sat back down, spreading the hand towel under Ross’ backside and then flipping the cap of the lube and coating the fingers of his right hand in it. He placed it to one side and started drawing light circles around Ross’ entrance with his fingers, dragging lightly until Ross was breathing quicker and harder. ‘We start with this and then we get toys involved and get progressively bigger until you’re ready.’

‘Fuck.’ Ross groaned, lost in the delicate touch of Jim’s teasing fingers. ‘How the fuck do you make sounding like an instruction manual so fucking sexy.’ He let his head fall back on the pillow, cock fully erect now and starting to leak. Jim grasped around the base, licking the gathered slick at the tip and Ross moaned.

‘Because you know that when we do this it’s going to feel amazing.’ he replied. He started probing gently with one finger and Ross hissed in pleasure as it slipped inside him. Jim kept the stroke light and soft, curling his finger so his fingertip skated lightly over Ross’ prostate. Ross shuddered once, his mouth falling open as he started to pant.

‘I’m pretty sure when we started this I was the one who was going to tie you up and fuck you.’ he ground out and Jim laughed.

‘You still get to fuck me.’ he replied. ‘Just later.’ He slid his finger out and went back to the lazy circles as he added more lube. ‘But I feel like playing a bit first.’ He slid two fingers inside this time and watched as Ross closed his eyes involuntarily. ‘But I can stop if you want.’

‘No.’ Ross panted. ‘Don’t stop. Don’t ever fucking stop.’ He was making a valiant effort to push into Jim’s fingers. He shivered as Jim pressed into his prostate and then smiled, blinding and delighted as the pleasure went through him. ‘Oh fuck, that’s good…’ Jim smiled again then leaned forward enough to take Ross’ cock in his mouth and went to work, one had around him to hold him steady.

Ross hadn’t been expecting that, and the dual pleasure of Jim fingering him open and going down on him at the same time was almost too much to take. He cried out and started bucking up into Jim’s mouth, and then pushing down onto Jim’s fingers. Jim took him easily, and moved his head in a steady up and down, and Ross felt the rush of heat in his chest. He could feel himself getting close and then Jim slowed, pulling off to lick him with soft barely there touches. It was beyond frustrating.

‘Bloody hell.’ Ross moaned. ‘Stop fucking doing that and finish me off.’

‘No.’ Jim said between licks. ‘You have no fucking self-control, I swear.’ He started sucking softly on the head of Ross’ cock and Ross was convinced he was going to go crazy if Jim didn’t take him back into his mouth in the next minute.

‘You fucking tease.’ he groaned.

‘If you want me to fist you, you’re going to have to learn to be patient.’ Jim said, his voice perfectly reasonable. Ross hated him just a little at that moment. ‘It’s not something to rush.’ He locked eyes with Ross and then dragged his tongue over the head in one slow lick, then flicked his tongue into the slit at the top. Ross watched him, unable to even protest at Jim’s spurious accusations of impatience. It was so hot that at that point he would have happily agreed to anything at all. And the fact that Jim had said the word out loud was currently short circuiting his brain. It was therefore no surprise that his orgasm completely snuck up on him and hit him in the head like a frying pan wielded by an angry housewife. Unfortunately it also hit Jim square in the face.

Luckily Jim had reacted quickly, shutting his eyes. When he opened them though, Ross’ semen was clinging to his cheek and slightly parted lips and striped across the bridge of his nose. He looked up at Ross and the sight of his cum all over Jim’s face made Ross want to knock him on his back and fuck him stupid. Jim looked horribly wanton and as he stared at Ross he reached up and dragged his thumb across his mouth and looked at the cum he’d wiped off his face. Then he smiled and it was filthy.

‘Is that the way we’re playing it?’ he asked and there was a hint of danger in the way he said those words. Ross stared at him, wide eyed, and actually gasped as Jim very deliberately licked Ross’ semen off his thumb.

‘Oh God.’ he said brokenly, his afterglow mingling with a fresh wave of arousal. Jim was very fussy about bodily fluids and swallowing them, so for him to deliberately do what he’d just done signalled that the evening was going to get very dirty very fast. And that would only end well for him.

Jim sat up straight and then got off the bed. He went into the bathroom and came out a minute later, his face clean and his cock still very hard. Ross looked him up and down.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked and his voice was rough with expectation. To be honest he had a pretty good idea and his own cock was already starting to take a renewed interest in proceedings, refractory period be damned.

‘Payback.’ Jim said, climbing back onto the bed. He straddled Ross’ bound arms, not sitting but kneeling over him with a predatory look.

‘Oh God.’ Ross said again. Now he definitely knew what was going on. Jim reached for his own cock and started stroking, slowly and evenly. Ross watched intently, and then looked up into the blue-green eyes, getting completely lost in them. Jim kept going, starting to pant hard himself, and threw out one hand to brace himself against the headboard. Ross was pinned underneath him and could only lie there and watch as Jim got closer, his hand picking up speed. It was mesmerising and Ross wanted it, wanted to see Jim lose it and come in his open mouth.

‘Yes.’ he breathed, fixing Jim with the most wanton look he could muster. ‘Come on, babe. Come all over me.’ He deliberately kept his mouth partially open, a blatant invitation and Jim keened as Ross said the words, his self-control flying out the window as he arched his back and came over Ross’ face and into his waiting mouth. His sharp cry made Ross’ head spin. He waited until Jim stopped shaking before turning his head and kissing Jim’s forearm with his eyes still on him, licking at the skin. Jim growled at him, moving back so he could lean down. He kissed Ross with a hard open mouth, tasting himself on Ross’ skin.

It only went downhill after that.

**********

Later Ross lay face down on the unmade bed and Jim sat astride his backside, rubbing the stiffness out of his shoulders. They were still naked and a little sweaty, but neither cared. Ross was almost asleep when Jim spoke.

‘Do you remember the first time we were here?’ he asked and Ross hummed in reply. ‘You were pretty freaked out. I’m sorry if I ever pushed you into doing something you didn’t want to do.’ Ross pushed himself up enough to half turn and look at him.

‘You didn’t.’ he said. ‘I can honestly say you are the only person in my life that hasn’t ever done that.’ Jim looked back at him, his eyes full of affection.

‘I just want you to be happy.’ he said simply and Ross felt his heart skip. Even after four years together, Jim could still make him feel like he was falling in love all over again.

‘I am happy.’ he replied. ‘So happy. You have no idea what you did that weekend.’ Jim gave him a quizzical look.

‘What did I do?’ he asked and Ross smiled and lay back down again.

‘You showed me that I was worth more than just a being a quick fuck.’ he said. ‘You showed me that you didn’t care about anything other than being with me and not because you wanted to fuck me but because you liked to be with me. That you liked me.’ He sighed. ‘All the people I was with before weren’t around long enough to see who I was. That weekend after I told you I loved you, I had a moment when I thought I had blown it by going off like I did. And then I lost it a bit when we were here and I thought for sure you were going to get angry or something. You’d paid all that money to get a hotel room and all we did was lie in bed and watch TV.’

‘And eat room service food.’ Jim said, and Ross could hear from his voice that he was grinning. ‘But I don’t understand why you would think that.’

‘Because everyone else had wanted something from me.’ Ross replied. ‘Howard just wanted to use me. Elizabeth wanted what my family could give her. Every other person I’d ever been with thought I was a pretty face and a good fuck, but they didn’t know who I was. You did. You got to see me that weekend and when I dropped you off you looked at me like I was the most wonderful person in the world and told me it was the best weekend you’d ever had.’

‘That’s because it was.’ Jim said, ‘Even if your knowledge of what constitutes a decent film was beyond appalling.’ Ross laughed into his arms.

‘My point is that that I may have fallen in love with you the week before, but that weekend I realised that I could stay in love with you forever.’ he said. ‘And that maybe you could love me back forever too.’ He sighed happily. Jim leaned forward and ruffled his hair.

‘Wanker.’ he replied. ‘As if I had a fucking choice.’


End file.
